You have only
taking a picture
and looking at the
image and staring
in the mirror and
looking at your
you don’t get to see
the way your eyes
light up when you talk
and you can never
see how beautiful
you look when you
it’s really is kinda
sad that you’ve never
actually seen yourself
but I can promise you
I will be here everyday
to tell you what I seeR’J
Personal preferences in dating or sex are not the same thing as
fetishes. We can’t help who we’re attracted to, and a lot of us
“have a type,” but no one should project the kind of personality,
behavior, and values they like in a romantic partner onto someone
else, let alone an entire ethnic group.
For instance, it is true that I tend to be drawn to well-dressed men who are taller than me, but I don’t assume anything about them
besides the fact that they are well-dressed and taller. But just because I’m Asian and female, why do some men make the automatic assumptions that I am quiet, docile, great at domestic tasks, eager to please men, and my vagina is more magical than average? And, I am supposed to feel complimented when those people are attracted to me?
Being in love with the idea of someone without actually getting to know the person as an individual is unfair and disrespectful. It’s an awful feeling to realize that the cute guy who approached you is as interested in you as he is in every other girl who shares your race: You’re as special as millions of others.
As white people, we are used to representations of ourselves crowding the covers of magazines, crowning the posters of newly released films. The good guys are white, we have learned, after eons of our faces being plastered under cowboy hats and in impeccable Bond suits. White men are Superman, we have learned. White men are Ethan Hunt and Neo and white men are hobbits. Bad men, we have learned, are black. They’re gang bangers and thugs and talk loud and sometimes deliver funny lines where we laugh at their Otherness. Black men aren’t heroes, we learn. Our imagination and subconscious are so saturated with white supremacist notions of goodness, beauty, and heroism, that when confronted head-on with an image of a black man who is brilliant and kind and normal and who saves the day, we transform into robotic versions of ourselves: Does… not… compute. Hero… must be… white. It’s this line of thinking that turned Disney’s Princess Tiana into an animal for 95 percent of the movie. The collective white imagination had difficulty imagining a black girl as a princess… and so she became a frog.
— Olivia Cole - “Hunger Games and the Limits of White Imagination” (via newwavefeminism)
A friend of mine once remarked that when he was growing up, he thought that he was either going to die before he reached adulthood, or he’d grow up to be a nondisabled person. The lack of disabled people on screen taught him that people like him only existed inside the walls of the hospital he visited regularly, and his special school. He had no idea disabled people came in adult form because he’d simply never seen any.
Margaret Atwood once wrote that “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them,” but it’s even more complicated than that. Women aren’t just afraid that they’ll be hurt; they’re afraid that they’ll be hurt and they’ll get blamed for it.
— Ana Mardoll (via runningwiththegnomes)